Good Samaritan Passer-Bys

Four Reasons Why We Look the Other Way

1.  Greed takes precedence over need
Amos 6, Luke 16:19

2.  We place financial value on people
James 2, Luke 13

3.  Bad things happen when good people remain immobilized
James 2:14

4.  We are self-absorbed
Jonah 4

Snakes Sermon

Numbers 21:4-9

1.  We are all bitten by sin
2.  There is no way to cure ourselves (John 8)
3.  Christ bore our sins (II Corinthians 5:3, 1 Peter 2:22)
4.  To access the cure all we need to do is look and live.  The direction of your gaze will determine your destiny.  (John 12:20)
5.  Result:  Peace and acceptance.  (Romans 5:1, 8:1)

What the Fire Teaches Us

Five points pointed out by Pastor Mike:

1.  We can't control nature.
      -Story of Job.  God overwhelmed him with nature to explain things.
2.  There is a transitory aspect of life.
     -James 4:13.  Everything passes away.
3.  The human spirit is resilient.
    -2 Corinthians 4.  We can overcome evil with good.
4.  Sin has a destructive nature.
    -Proverbs 6:27.  A spark can become huge.
5.  Crisis creates community.

Batizado Weekends Make me Contemplative

We spend a lot of weekends in nature...and not in church.  I'd like to say that my spiritual life has only been enhanced by all this time in nature, but that isn't completely true.  It's more like I just don't feel bad about being in nature and climbing, hiking 14ers, etc. on the Sabbath.  But honestly I don't get the same spiritual nourishment as I do going to church; I feel like I lose some connection to my spiritual life...or maybe I just feel this way if I'm never going to church (like right now).  The problem is, if I were to only go to church on Sabbath and miss out on our nature weekends, I know I would feel trapped and would secretly be resentful.

When I was in college, all of this wasn't much of an issue.  My friends and I had plenty of outdoor activities we loved to do in no more than an hour away from our homes.  We could go to church (usually the wonderfully early Spanish church), then head off towards the rock or river.  Nature, social, and spiritual yearnings satiated.  Since that time I've lived in places where that isn't really feasible.  And well, I love road tripping, seeing new places, and all of our friends live in other parts of the state.  So traveling off we go.

But I've felt myself drifting spiritually, and I think there needs to be some sort of balance.  How badly and how often do we humans need to be involved in collective worship?

En Tus Pupilas

Letra de En Tus Pupilas :
Quand tu me prends dans tes bas
Quand je regarde dans tes yeux
Je vois que Dieu existe
C' est pas dur croire

Antes de conocerte el mundo era plano
Aunque lo discuta usted Señor Galilei
Y me canse de besar ranas en vano
Pero el príncipe azul
Jamás no encontré

Y así llegaste tu
Devolviéndome la fe
Sin poemas y sin flores
Con defectos con errores
Pero en pie

Y siento
Algo en ti algo entre los dos
Que me hace insistir
Cuando miro en tus pupilas se que Dios no dejo de existir
Tu lo haces vivir
Tu lo haces vivir

La vida es una colección de recuerdos
Pero a nada como tu recuerdo tan bien
Desde la redondez de tus labios
Al olor de tu pelo
Al color de tu piel

No pienses que te iras y me voy a resignar
Eres lo mejor que me ha pasado
Entre lo mundano y lo sagrado
Y aun mas

Y siento
Algo en ti algo entre los dos
Que me hace insistir
Cuando miro en tus pupilas se que Dios no dejo de existir
Tu lo haces vivir
Tu lo haces vivir

What If?

I think we all have times when we doubt whatever it is we believe in.  Sometimes I find myself unsure but hoping so much that God and Jesus are real simply because I love His example and story.


"What If" by Nichole Nordeman


What if you're right?
And he was just another nice guy
What if you're right?
What if it's true?
They say the cross will only make a fool of you
And what if it's true?

What if he takes his place in history
With all the prophets and the kings
Who taught us love and came in peace
But then the story ends
What then?

But what if you're wrong?
What if there's more?
What if there's hope you never dreamed of hoping for?
What if you jump?
And just close your eyes?
What if the arms that catch you, catch you by surprise?
What if He's more than enough?
What if it's love?

What if you dig
Way down deeper than your simple-minded friends
What if you dig?
What if you find
A thousand more unanswered questions down inside
That's all you find?

What if you pick apart the logic
And begin to poke the holes
What if the crown of thorns is no more
Than folklore that must be told and retold?

You've been running as fast as you can
You've been looking for a place you can land for so long
But what if you're wrong?

Amerca, the Beautiful and the Ugly

Things that are nice about the US of A:
1.  Free beverage refills
2.  Accessible restrooms
3.  National Parks
4.  Football
5.  Cultural diversity

Things that are not so nice:
1.  Corporations and company chains taking over our industries (restaurants, clothing stores, etc.)
2.  Lack of good public transportation (namely trains)
3.  Box homes and stores that lack any sense of soul
4.  Factory farms
5.  Traffic
6.  Obesity
7.  Electronic addiction

Boxed Out

Driving on the interstate depresses me.  I peer out my window and see track homes followed by a clump of massive box shops and strip malls followed by more track homes and mono-colored apartment buildings slowly usurping the farmland and woods with "For Sale" signs in front of them.  Soon those woods and farms will only be found in some reference in the neighborhood entrance sign of the track homes built over them: "North Glen, "Meandering Brook," "Cedar Ridge."

But the names of the box stores remain the same as I pass by mile after mile: Game Stop, Costco, Walmart, Veda, Michaels, Starbucks, Olive Garden, Barnes and Noble, Bed, Bath, and Beyond...we've widdled down all our stores into a few corporate names.  And I believe many of us are conditioned to be too scared to venture to buy anything from the minute number of mom and pop shops that somehow still remain.  We don't even seem to like to purchase anything made outside of China (I found it interesting how the Japanese tourists in Guam would go to KMart and buy "Guam" postcards, mugs, and playing cards that were made in China.)  I am repulsed by how "streamlined" we are in our selection of shops (can I call them that?).

I feel like these stores and homes represent how America, whether it realizes it or not, is draining our creativity.  And the sad part is that many people I know who have college degrees in something creative now can't find creative jobs and are relegated to finding a work at these box stores.  And, since they can't afford anything else, they must live in an apartment the same color and design as the next building that practically touches it.  I don't blame them.  There are not many options.

Yes, America is a land of plenty.  In general we can buy whatever semblance of something we want whether it be a jacket, groceries, towels, or Italian food.  But chances are that they came from some huge corporate machine that buys from the same few places and plants.  We can't expect much creativity or anything homegrown.  For that we have to eek together enough money to visit other countries that have not yet been completely dulled by our American Dream.

Perhaps our only remaining outlet for selling anything creative and new will head where everything else (including community and friendship) seems to be heading--the world of the virtual.

Living and Believing

I remember traveling in a resort town in Patagonia many years ago with a British fellow my friend and I had met at our hostel.  Bariloche, the town, is well know for its tasty chocolate, and the Brit had bought me some.  I tasted a bite and almost gagged because it tasted so strongly of alcohol.  I told him I don't drink and somehow it was brought out that I didn't because of religious reasons.  He said that, well, I shouldn't eat anymore then.  That I should live what I believe, even though he didn't believe what I did.

I have thought about what he said various times since then, this weekend being one of them.  I, so far, have had one of the silliest, wishy-washy weekends of my life.  First, I had turned down singing upfront in church to do something on the Sabbath that I didn't feel right about doing on the Sabbath--capoeira.  I do a lot of activities on the Sabbath, but I had a huge urging, influence, conscience, something telling me this was something I shouldn't be doing today.  But I had already paid a rather large sum of money to participate and ended up going for about five minutes to a class this morning.  Within that time I slashed my heel open and just felt terrible about the whole situation.  I rushed out of the studio, changed into nice clothes, and bolted to church.  I wish I would have done that in the first place.

I now don't necessarily think a little bit of alcohol is bad or unbiblical, but I still won't touch it because of all the harm it can do.  And really I feel no need or that I would have any benefit from drinking it.  Perhaps one day I'll believe God doesn't think capoeira is a bad thing to do on Sabbath.  But I felt conviction, and if that conviction isn't harming anyone (I wasn't convicted to go kill innocent people or do other terrible things that sometimes we humans have done in the name of religion.), I feel I should follow it.  Especially because if God is real and the Bible is true, I believe the Sabbath is something that hasn't changed and that has true importance still today.  And so, with that I will finish this terribly written blog and speed off to enjoy some of God's nature.  Maybe I'll go searching for some mustard seeds.

Avoiding the Gym

I hate to exercise without having fun or exercising just for the sake of exercising...except if I'm simply trying to boost my self-discipline.  Here is my twist on the typical workout.

Stretching (flexibility)=Yoga

Lifting weights (strength training)=climbing gym or climbing outside

Endurance/aerobic work (instead of one's typical running, swimming, etc.)=capoeira, hiking, mountain biking

Perhaps these activities aren't as effective as normal weights, running, and typical stretching positions IF I were consistent with all of those things.  But I am not...so I am sticking to my ginga.

The Distant College Past

Sometimes I am envious of university students.  Never in my life have I ever found such an environment where I clicked just right with so many people, and in which we could all hang out and make plans so easily as when I was in college.

But, that time is over.  In fact I know very few people where I currently live.  Thankfully friends are spread around our state, but definitely it is not so easy as it was back then to see them (merely going to a friend's apartment across the street).

I have accepted that that time in my life is over, but it does give me another reason to be excited about heaven.  To me, the togetherness and friendship is the main thing it will be all about.  And I think the deluge and dearth of both those situations I've experienced will make me appreciate it even more.

Wandering Along the Path of Existential Rumination

In Jon Stewart's book Earth he (or someone in his writing team) jokingly writes how we humans developed entertainment and the arts to distract ourselves instead of pondering existential questions.  I feel like I've been enveloped myself in these trappings during the last few weeks without the distractions of school or work and as I've grown tired of even the internet.  And slowly these questions have crept into my mind as they so often do when I'm in in between stages of my life.  And they are random and even difficult to write down as they enter my head late at night attached with millions of other ephemeral thoughts that seem to disappear as quickly and firmly as my dreams.

Thoughts about god.  The idea of developing him as a need to appease our thoughts about life after death, to help us believe that we aren't alone, to help at least some people act morally at least some of the time so we don't completely tear each other apart.  The thought of a god with the hopes that there is a being with the full embodiment of Love, which some people believe is all we really need.  And if that god is the same thing as love, then what would he do in cases such as one I heard on the radio about a baby who seemed healthy until the third trimester when suddenly it became apparent that it would live but live essentially as a vegetable in great pain if it were not to be aborted.  What would love say to do in this case?

Thinking of those world religions that are so completely diverse and how they help us deal with the fact that wonderful happiness and indescribable terror both inhabit our earth:  how they explain good and evil in the balance of ying and yang or the idea of multiple good and evil gods that exist or that there are gods with good and evil tendencies who make capricious decisions that effect us all.

And there is the idea that there is a god who, in order to allow our freedom and demonstrate to the universe the correctness of love and the evil of sin, may let evil forces attack us or allow natural consequences of bad choices, but still comforts us and uses even those consequences to hopefully at least turn our lives into something more positive if we allow him.

There is the wondering if what we believe in is just a story we have chosen because we hope that love will conquer all and that that love's name is god and he has a purpose for us...knowing that there is no way to definitively prove this even if we seem to have felt his power personally, but nevertheless knowing that there has to be a choice to believe.  And knowing that some people cannot make this choice without having absolute certainty.

These are some of the fleeting, most likely incomprehensible thoughts that will most likely continue to hop in and out of my brain during these undistracted times, and I wonder if they have any point as I'll probably never truly know the final truth until my dying day.

I guess the main point is that they are hugely important if one comes out of these ruminations and makes decisions based on them, because they are capable of being the foundation of one's entire being and belief in their purpose in life.  But again, there are people who decide they can make these decisions even without absolute certainty* and there are those who decide they can not.


*perhaps because in some cases they truly hope the story they choose is true and by following the ideas of this story they have seen many positive things and the story makes sense and is the best they can contemplate as the embodiment of love even in a world deficient of love

Frustration

Life is more than traveling, climbing mountains, reading classic literature, and learning how to dance/fight.  I believe it.  I just wish I knew how best to do unto others beyond just being nice to folks from day to day.  I feel like there should be more, like I should be being something more, but I'm not sure what or how.  And I'm not really sensing or understanding any direction from the Big Guy.  I am sure it is my fault, but urg.


"Not well traveled, not well read,

Not well to do, or well bred,

Just wanna hear instead,

Well done good and faithful one"

"The Unpardonable Sin"

Erosion
Eating at you slowly
Imperceptible
Until the arch falls

The added weight
The rent relationship
As the phone calls decrease
Until only oblivion

You miss the laughter
The memories
But even those start to fade
Until all that is left is a shadow
Of an old emotion

You turn over
You don't write back
You don't return
Until it never returns

Gideon

God calls young wheat threshers to be mighty warriors.  He sees the possibility and future in us even when we don't believe we can do anything special.  Just like with Gideon.

He can work with those of us who only have a minute bit of faith, like Gideon who needed multiple signs.

He needs those who are willing to give everything for Him, like those who scooped up the water instead of bathing in it.

Humans should not trust in numbers, but in the power of God, like the 300 who were able to conquer with His support.

Judges 6 and 7

Dare to Be a Soldier

Christian soldiers are taught to either flee or fight.  I wrote these verses on Darren Friday night due to lack of paper.  Check them out!

During my stay here in Guam I've once again been surrounded with people who at least have a titch of mission mindedness.  Constantly there are evangelistic meetings, health fairs, Bible studies, etc. and I've been reminded that although I don't think I've been leading a bad life, I do think it could be fuller.  I've gone on so many trips, adventures, etc. in the past five years, but I think that I have been storing up more treasures (for me in the form of experiences, not money.  As the book Franny and Zooey suggests, perhaps what we store up is not limited to money) on earth than in heaven.

I never want to stop adventuring.  In fact, I believe God gave us so many distinct cultures and nature because he wants us to explore them.  But I think I need to shift my focus in all areas of life more fully on spiritual things instead of making spirituality and my relationship with God just a seasoning that occasionally I sprinkle onto my life.  I would like Him to be the meat (or tofu...whatever) of my life.  Admittedly, I think right now He needs to be at least more frequently sprinkled.  We all are on different parts of our journey.

This past weekend, Darren and I went to a seminar about how to give Bible studies and go...duh, duh, dah...door knocking.  When I heard that were were going to be door knocking I immediately scrunched up my face in horror, not just because I am intimidated by the prospect of doing it, but I unfortunately admit that I had put "door knocking" in the category of people shoving pamphlets in my face, carrying signs with doomsday messages, etc.

But as we listened to the lectures, I became impressed by the method the speakers were presenting to us to introduce people to Someone who cares for them.  Basically it involves going to someone's door, asking them a survey, talking with them as a friend, and just asking them if they want to have Bible studies with us.  That's it.  Just offering the possibility of exploring the Bible and making new friends.  

It's an easier prospect to think about doing in Guam because people are so friendly, willing to chat, and to go do things with here.  Already Darren and I have received numerous phone numbers from local people we've randomly met hiking, rock climbing, etc. (mostly non-Adventist, by the way) who have offered to go with us or take us  on more adventures.  Anyways, Darren and I did end up meeting a lady who was extremely nice, genuine, and willing to study with us, and although we only have a few weeks here left, I pray that it will be a good thing for us all.  I am squeamish admitting this to the world wide web, but I honestly feel like I've been so disconnected.

I wanted to share with readers some of the material they gave us from the different seminars.  I don't know if I agree 100% with everything.  I have to ponder it all out, but I do believe a firm foundation of how to grow personally and share is vital.

Personal Preparation
"And, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace." Ephesians 6:15

Footwear is not the most glorified of the soldiers armor.  Most would rather talk of sword, and shield, and helmet.  However, the footwear is an intrinsic and inescapable part of the armor of God, for it is the footwear that allows us to run our race of faith, even to the farthest reaches of the earth.  Shod your feet indeed!  There are three primary methods by which we personally prepare for evangelism. The are Bible study, prayer, and sharing with others.

Introduction
Have you ever tried praying with your head on the pillow in the morning?  "Saved" your morning devotions for the drive to work?  Fallen asleep during prayer?  Like the Israelites, we need to collect the lving manna early in the morning.  Without it, we will starve the rest of the day.

Bible Study
Why the word of God?  According to Matthew 4:3, 4, the Word of God was Jesus' weapon to defeat the wily foe.  Jeremiah 15:16 affirms that study of God's word should bring much joy to the Christian.  Through Bible study we (a) Get to know Jesus (John 5:39); (b) Develop a safeguard against sin (Psalms 119:11); (c) Learn to use our weapon of warfare (Matthew 4:3,4); and (d) Gain discernment between right and wrong (Hebrews 4:12).

Methods
1.  Topical/Doctrinal-the "line upon line" method, wehere verses on a subject are weighed together to form a conclusive Bible teaching on a specific subject.
2.  Memorization: Take time each day to hone your ability to memorize portions of God's word.  Visit http://www.fast.st/fast/index.php for a free memorization course
3.  Read through overview: be able to answer "Yes" to those who ask you if you have read the Bible before.  Your Amazing Facts Bible reading plan would be a great place to start
4.  Devotional: feed the soul daily with readings from the Gospels, the Psalms, etc.

Tools
Bible, concordance and dictionary, notebook, pen, pencil crayons

Prayer
"Prayer is the opening of the heart to God as to a friend.  Not that it is necessary in order to make known to God what we are, but in order to enable us to receive Him.  Prayer does not bring God down to us, but brings us up to Him." SC 93

Why do we pray?
1.  Transfer allegiance from self to God (Luke 22:42)
2.  Angels enlisted in God's service for us (Daniel 10:12)
3.  Forgivenss (1 John 1:9)

The model prayer (Matthew 6:9-13)
Begin and end glorifying and praising God (v. 9, 13)
Invite Him into your life today (v. 10)
His will, not yours (v. 9)
Ask for things sufficient for the day (v. 11)
Pray for forgiveness and a forgiving heart (v. 12)
Victory over evil (v. 13)

Tips
Begin your devotions in prayer.  Come boldly before the Father in the name of Jesus.  Be systematic.  Keep records of prayer requests, plan your prayers for each day, and, as you thus monitory your prayer life, watch and see the marvelous ways whereby the Lord answers.  Above all, pray for the Holy Spirit each day.

Witnessing
Is witnessing necessary?  "And the Spirit and the bride say, Come.  And let him that heareth say, Come. And let him that is athirst come.  And whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely." Revelation 22:17
Why is it necessary?  "God could have reached His object in saving sinners without our aid; but in order for us to develop a character like Christ's, we must share in His work.  In order to enter into His joy--the joy of seeing souls redeemed by His sacrifice--we must participate in His labors for their redemption."  DA142
Who?  "And I saw another angel fly in the midst of heaven, having the everlasting gospel to preach unto them that dwell on the earth, and to every nation, and kindred, and tongue, and people."  Revelation 14:6  Of course the angel is symbolic.  We are called to be God's end-time messengers.

The following are simple ways in which we can witness:
1.  Character-"A kind, courteous Christian is the most powerful argument that can be produced in favor of the gospel." HP 181
2.  Peculiarity-"Concerning Israel, the Lord declared: "The people shall dwell alone, and shall not be reckoned among the nations."  Numbers 23:9.  To us as well as to ancient Israel these words apply.  God's people are to stand alone." 7T 109

Claim these Bible promises to help overcome possible objections you may have:
1.  Lack of knowledge? (Read 2 Corinthians 8:12)
2.  Fear?  (Read Psalm 34:4)
3.  Not my "gift"? (Read Revelation 14:6; Ephesians 4:11)
4.  Just the pastor's job? (Read Acts 8:1-4)

Bible Study--How to Write and Present
Biblical Basis for Bible Study
Phillip and the eunuch (Acts 8:26-42)
There is much work to be done (Matthew 9:36-38)
Preach the word (2 Timothy 3:16-4:5)
Be ready to defend what you believe (1 Peter 3:15-17)
Hide God's word in your heart (Psalm 119:11)

How to Write a Bible Study
Write out the purpose of each study.  What is it that you are trying to accomplish in this study?
1.  Begin with an introduction
--grabs the attention of the Bible student
--has smooth transitions from intro to body
2.  The Body is the main portion of the Bible Study
--7-10 texts that support the subject/topic of study
--Use illustrations that support topic
--Ask questions that the Bible answers
--Smooth transitions from text to text
3.  End with appeal
--Should be a linking phrase from appeal to intro
--The appeal should be appealing, write it out first
--This is where the listener is encouraged to accept the offer
--Use appropriate verbiage
--Remember that it's Christ you are trying to glorify and the heart you are trying to reach

Bible Study Aids
1.  Charts
2.  Illustrations (parables, stories)
3.  Personal Experiences

Before Actual Study
--Pause for prayer
--Socialize with the Bible student before the study
--Have a prayer to transition to study

Bible Study Presentation
--Don't assume their level of knowledge
--Agree with people as you can
--Stay focused on your topic
--If they ask questions off topic, handle them appropriately

During Bible Study
--Maintain proper eye contact and posture
--Ask questions that will engage the student
--Don't be afraid if you don't know the answer
--Be attentive of concern the student may have
--Speak clearly and expressively

Leading to Decision
Use a verse where God asks for a decision like Hebrews 4:7

Things to Remember
--Keep Bible study within 45-60 minutes
--Be optimistic and don't give up
--Be consistent with your students
--Go two by two if at all possible for safety and support
--Be a good listener
--People's opinions are important.  Let the Bible prove itself.

Dating Problems

So, people have always told me that planning weddings is stressful, but I always thought I'd be super laid back and chill and everything would work out grandly.  Hmm...well, I've already been in tears numerous times just trying to figure out a proper date to have a wedding.  And, that decision in particular is even more highlighted because it's the first question everyone always asks.  

One has to consider: What does everyone want?  What does Darren want?  What do I want?  And then it just gets more and more complex as one starts analyzing all viewpoints of every decision very systemically, like I sometimes do (If we do this, then this good thing can happen, but then this bad thing would happen and we wouldn't be able to have this...etc. etc. etc.).  Hmm...

Worship

This weekend I mostly stayed in town and was actually able to go to church. The pastor had what I think is an interesting view of worship. We should not worship because we feel like it, but because God is worthy of it. I agree with that idea.

The only aspect of the sermon I was hesitant about was when the pastor said if we don't show the right worshipful attitude, we should leave the sanctuary and pray, so as not to bring others down. I don't think people should be disrespectful, but sometimes all one can do is just be there. At one point in my life I remember being so low in my spiritual experience that I purposefully put myself in a worshipful environment (i.e. summer camp) to try to reconnect with God even though I did not have the gumption to be very worshipful. Perhaps it is in these sort of situations the tables are sort of turned, and the worship helps the downtrodden person again realize that God is worthy.

Dreary Eyes

some recent thoughts:

I have been wrapped up in PT school for almost the last year and a half. Wow. I never thought I would be here; I never thought this is what I would do. In fact, I never really knew what PTs did until just a few years ago. And yet, while I hope from the deepest parts of my heart not to forget my previous passions, I do have a deeper appreciation for the current path upon which I've embarked. This is because movement is so intrinsically related to happiness. I so often become disgusted with the culture in which I live because we are so inactive...often myself included. I started to study Outdoor Education in hopes to show people that there is more to life than the television set. Perhaps this is not a normal goal for someone studying that field, but for me it was a huge draw.

Now I am studying PT, and the goal is still similar: I want people to LIVE their lives. Sometimes this inactiveness could come from impairments. Hopefully I will be able to help restore people so they can at least have the choice to move and do what things bring meaning to their lives.

To Write, Right?

I have not written a blog in a very long time. I think being inundated in a medical institution has made me a little write shy. I am always scared I've lost my groove. But I have decided to give no more excuses. I am forcing myself to write.

I feel like I'm not truly sucking out the marrow of life if I don't write, no matter how good or bad that writing may be. Scribbling down words forces me to contemplate and savor the life happening around me. It implores me to pay attention and remember not only the big events in my life, but the subtleties as well. Examples currently in my life:

Big event: I'm dating an amazing fella. As my friends know, that's a HUGE step for me. He is a testimony that God can provide in better ways than one could ever imagine…even if it takes awhile.
Small event: At this moment, Loma Linda is beautiful. That's right, beautiful. For the first time in my life I can peer out my window and observe ribbons of snow showers falling along the mountain peaks around me. It has also recently been raining, so the hills where I mountain bike are lathered in diminutive green grass akin to the hills of Edinburgh. And when the California sunshine bathes all of this, I can't help but be happy. It's the same feeling I get when the leaves are changing in the Southeast.

So, life has goodness about which should be written—in a big way just so we are aware of the goodness. There are also, of course, struggles: I'm still worried concerning things like my career choice and if I'll pass the year. But sometimes pondering that too helps one or others reading the ponderings make sense of it all. Hopefully I shall be vigilant of the incidents and opportunities worthy of writing, no matter how small or large they may be